Audio (MP3): 20171019 - Amazing blueberry jelly

I hate it when I’m walking down the work hallway and I hear another office door open. Can’t I just walk down the hall alone, with peace and quiet?

Now matter how much I try to avoid people, some random body shows up and says, “hello.” And then I have to quickly scan the mental rolodex for non-offensive chit-chat. Engage in dialogue that obviously won’t last more than 15 seconds.

It’s not that I don’t like the other office building inhabitants but on a quick stroll to the restroom, there’s only so many steps to take. I’d rather walk in silence than blurt out, “How ‘bout this weather?” ..or.. “Tomorrow’s Friday!”

Of course I could pause and launch into mild outrage about (insert any poetic injustice here) but then I’d feel it socially correct to stop walking. And that in turn would invite the random body into a full blown conversation. The horror. Sure, full blown gabfests are fine but not when I’m on my way to the potty.

Maybe I should write some socially-irregular chit-chats on index cards for future use. Not ones that will have random body think I’m a boob or psycho anything because I do care what people think of me. But more like one or two-liners that will (hopefully) instill an off-balanced curiosity in the random body.

Something like these perhaps:

• I had some really amazing blueberry jelly last night. So good.
• With my new shoes, I’ll run faster after they’re broken in.
• The Queen is kinda over-appreciated. Maybe I just don’t know her.

#socialproblems #diariespodcast