Lyrics

I am surfing the lifestyle that I was shown
I am riding the aftershock, a tidal wave, a boy that
You have grown
You have sown
You have stoned

Who else am I to blame, dare I say the
Trouble lies in how I learned?
How I was raised?
How I was burned?
How I was shamed?

Didn’t go to Harvard or enroll at Yale
Wanted to grow up an astronaut
Instead I got a jail cell
Was a dope slut, addicted to shots
Can’t think for myself

I’m not a boy
I can think for myself now

Inflated with the airs of rage
Every breath is one of hate
Weaned jolly green
Giant field of defiance
Stones for you
Burns for you
Shocks for you
and you and you and you

Not a boy
I can think for myself now

Now I live the lifestyle that I choose
It’s got nothing to do with you
Threw away your noose
I let myself loose

Boo hoo for you
Singing your blues
Eating your abuse
Duck duck goose
I tie my shoes
So fuck you

Overall Impression

Serving as a raw, visceral expression of defiance, frustration, and the painful process of self-realization. tcr!’s “I’m Not a Boy” is very much an anthem of defiance as well as a deeply personal narrative of self-liberation. The song’s unpredictable arrangement, with its constantly shifting tempos, punk-like vocal elements, and jagged edges, the song manages to encapsulate the chaos and catharsis of breaking free from the past and claiming one’s own identity, leaving listeners with a sense of empowerment and unfiltered honesty.

The hooks are clever in their simplicity, often landing in places you don’t expect, giving the song an infectious quality even as it seems to resist conventional structure. It’s a song that pulls you in with its unpredictability, making each new twist feel like a revelation. There’s something powerfully liberating in the way the music reflects the internal chaos of the lyrics—frenetic, untamed, and unapologetically raw.

Strongest Points

The arrangement is intriguingly chaotic, with a sense of movement that never quite settles. It’s as though the track is constantly in flux, never comfortable, never resting, yet this works in a way. The tempo changes, sometimes abruptly, push and pull the listener, creating a feeling of being in the midst of a wild ride. This unpredictability is further amplified by the punk-like attitude of the vocals that manage to capture the essence of youthful rebellion and self-discovery in a particularly effective way.

There’s always a strong sense of non-conformity in tcr!’s lyrical style and “I’m Not a Boy” is certainly no exception. The narrator seems to be confronting both their past and the expectations placed on them, grappling with a world that demanded conformity and a version of themselves that never quite fit. Phrases like “surfing the lifestyle that I was shown” and “riding the aftershock, a tidal wave” speak to the turbulence of trying to navigate a life shaped by external pressures and disappointments. The mention of being “inflated with the airs of rage” and “every breath is one of hate” is a searing indictment of a broken system, one that left the narrator feeling trapped, misunderstood, and alienated.

There’s a sense of liberation in the chorus, especially with lines like, “Not a boy, I can think for myself now,” which feels like a triumphant declaration of independence. The narrator, having fought through the rubble of their past, declares their autonomy, rejecting the expectations of others and finally stepping into their own power. This theme is amplified throughout, especially in the lines, “Now I live the lifestyle that I choose / It’s got nothing to do with you,” where the narrator sheds the weight of judgment and outside influence, opting instead to take control of their own destiny.

The playful and biting nature of the lyrics adds an interesting dimension to the song. Lines like “Boo hoo for you / Singing your blues / Eating your abuse” feel almost mocking, as if the narrator is taunting those who tried to impose their limitations on them. The imagery here—of the “noose” being thrown away and the self-proclaimed act of “letting myself loose”—evokes the sense of breaking free from societal constraints, of rejecting the role that was thrust upon them. It’s a middle finger to the expectations of others and a declaration of self-ownership, especially underscored by the rebellious final refrain: “So fuck you.”