Breathe people. Just remember to breathe.

When the calendar flipped it was something we had planned for.  I got caught up in the idea of this momentous event. There were lots of compliments thrown this way and that. When the time came a great time was had for sure. That and more to be sure. I’m still smiling.

But

When my friend gave us his car keys and showed us his garage, I was relieved that simple suicide was only a block and a half away.

When our friends had a new baby I realized I’d be in the ground before her or her parents. Or most of our friends or our friends’ friends. Or my wife.

I’d been thinking about retirement so fondly I didn’t think how boring it might be. You can only shoot so many kids on your front lawn while the wife is away at work. “You’d better find something to do so we can have something to talk about.”

I forget people’s names.

I don’t hear as well as I used to.

I wonder if a sudden terminal event will happen. And where. Things like that begin to happen round about now.

Now then.

In celebration of everything and with the kind indulgence of my lovely wife I am bearding up for the next six months. That would be winter in these here parts. Because I want to. Let the grey come. I look forward to many an evening lost in deep thought, stroking my ever increasing facial fuzz. American Gods on the eReader, Dimebag in the ears, java in my mug.

I’m not going ANYWHERE just yet but it would be stupid to deny that I haven’t started thinking about when the train will pull away from the station.

#random