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When I be my best self

tcr! · Aug 5, 2018 at 1:40 pm

Audio (MP3): 20180805 - When I be my best self

diaries for July 2018 spread

I’ve been working on my magazine pretty much since I got up, trying to get the July issue all done and off to the printer. Sometimes the pages and layouts just spill onto my screen effortlessly. It’ll sound kinda corny but when I do my best creative work it feels like the cosmos is directing me. That whatever I’m doing just comes out all on it’s own.

Same goes with writing or whatever, too. They’re not my words, they come from somewhere else. It’s like being funny. Everybody knows that we’re not funny when we’re trying to be.

So if I force shit, it just never works. I end up frustrated and hating it. I need to let go and let the cosmic river take me where it sees fit.

Anyways, I’d earmarked today to get this latest issue finished. I was plenty social yesterday and Maggie’s with her mom and I got nothing else going on. I just wanted to be alone and channel my expressive side. Plus, I needed to make things a priority now and then or I won’t get them done. And I had early 80s music on and everything. The B-52s.

But the last 4-5 pages weren’t coming together. I was pushing crap around, rearranging content, deleting shit. Forcing my artistic hand and nothing was working.

And then a thought came to me that wasn’t my own. Because I’m selfish and my best ideas are never mine.

I messaged Sara:

I don’t know if Hope is still with you or what your plans are until this evening, but if you wanted to hangout for an hour or two or whatever my magazine stuff can always wait.

We set up plans for a couple of hours later and then, because I got out of me and what I wanted, put someone else before all that, the stars aligned and everything fell into place. Those last pages of the magazine came together with little effort and little time. The universe spirit moved my hands to paint for me.

Okay, that was definitely corny but it’s true. When I be my best self, the best things happen to me. My magazine is more or less done and I get to see a beautiful girl.

And then Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran came on and life was complete.

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sadiebug92 · Aug 5, 2018 at 4:00 pm

Beautifully written. Love the honesty. ❤️

tcr! tcr! · Aug 5, 2018 at 4:41 pm

Thank you!!

sadiebug92 · Aug 5, 2018 at 5:12 pm

You’re welcome :)

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Momma J Momma J · Aug 5, 2018 at 6:06 pm

Sometimes just need to take a little pressure off the creativity part of us which of course is what you did. You might consider dropping in your magazine from monthly to bi-monthly?

tcr! tcr! · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:54 pm

I’ve thought about it but months are easy to keep track of 😊

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sara sara · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:56 pm

No, we ate tacos and THEN life was complete. 💃

Momma J Momma J · Aug 5, 2018 at 8:58 pm

Love it!

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