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We, as parents, make mistakes

tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 9:30 am

Audio (MP3): 20180425 - We, as parents, make mistakes

Maggie and the hurry home message

Maggie had a little scare yesterday. She had gotten off the school bus and was walking the minute walk back to our house down the alley. Some dude was also walking down the alley behind her and that didn’t sit well with her.

I generally get home 15 to 20 minutes after she does and it’s not that big of a deal for her to walk home and spend that time by herself.

Anyways, after I got back to the house we talk about what happened for a little bit, about the dude, and reviewed all the things you can do in a situation when strangers are following you. Be loud, be visible, make noise, make sure the whole world knows what’s up. It’s the same thing that animals do when they’re nervous and it works pretty well for them.

It also sounded like the guy may have just been walking 30 feet or so behind her, just going in the same direction. I’m not trying to minimize the situation but I know for myself when I panic, things aren’t truly what they seem. I got freaked out and freaked myself out several times as a kid when I was in situations very similar to hers. I can still freak myself out now as a grownup.

So anyways, here’s the real story.

Last night when I was saying good night to her I thought of something else to say around the whole stranger-danger topic. I started talking about it and then immediately thought that it probably wasn’t a good idea at bedtime.

I quickly changed the subject and we talked about something else for a few minutes. I was kind of hoping she’d forget about the whole. But people who’re more on the nervous side, they don’t forget.

This morning before school I said to her, “Last night I brought the dude up again and then realized that I shouldn’t have considering what time it was. I hope that it wasn’t on your mind as you were going to sleep. What is it?”

She said that it was for a little bit. I then told her I was sorry and that was the wrong thing for me to do, wrong thing for me to say. She nodded a little bit, absorbing what I’d just said. And then we got on with our day.

It’s important for me to be humble, for me to be human, failings and all, as a parent in front of Maggie. It’s okay for our kids to know that we as parents make mistakes. And more importantly, it’s good for them to hear us own it, too. Our kids will model their behavior after ours. Who they become as adults is directly influenced by who we are to them as parents.

And lastly, it’s crucial for me to ask direct questions if I’m worried that I’ve made a mistake. Like I asked Maggie if what I said had kept her up the night before. I could’ve just said that I hoped our bedtime talk wasn’t on her mind too much while she was going to sleep and left it at that. But that’s not good enough. I needed to ask her point blank if it was.

If I wouldn’t have asked her it would’ve left her alone with her feelings. That those uncomfortable feelings were hers to deal with. I wouldn’t have taken full responsibility for my part in causing them. And feelings like those need to be talked about, they need to be acknowledged by the person who was indeed at fault.

If I’m not 100% sure if I’ve done something wrong, I need to find out. Because that’s part of owning what I’ve done. I need to take the initiative and shouldn’t wait for somebody to tell me that I’ve hurt their feelings. Most of the time I’m pretty sure they won’t.

#maggie #amendments #advancedsoul #diariespodcast

Karly · Apr 25, 2018 at 10:46 am

I’m glad she was aware of her surroundings.

Also, surrounding area police stations will often hold annual free self defense classes. I know St Charles just had 2 in April and Dekalb has them on occasion.

Karly · Apr 25, 2018 at 10:47 am

Correction…i think it was Naperville that just had theirs

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 11:14 am

That’s not a bad idea. She was in martial arts a few years back but a basic refresher is always a good idea.

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fleming · Apr 25, 2018 at 11:03 am

So happy Maggie is safe! We just had an attempted child abduction yesterday morning at a bus stop…kids were smart and ran, but so terrifying!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 11:16 am

That’s crazy! What the eff is wrong with people?

fleming · Apr 25, 2018 at 12:15 pm

They’re eff’d up!!! Oh…and thank you sooo much for sending me your publications…I thoroughly enjoyed them!!!!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 1:55 pm

You are most welcome!

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landerl · Apr 25, 2018 at 11:42 am

Super glad she’s safe. And you are an awesome parent!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 11:47 am

Thank you!

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marney0160 marney0160 · Apr 25, 2018 at 12:26 pm

Ditto with what Linda said! And Kelly’s idea is a good one. Your advice about being loud and visible is spot on, too!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 1:57 pm

Thanks!!

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Momma J Momma J · Apr 25, 2018 at 1:32 pm

A fine job of parenting!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 25, 2018 at 1:56 pm

Why thank you!

Momma J Momma J · Apr 25, 2018 at 2:23 pm

You’re welcome and well deserved!

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Jim J · Apr 25, 2018 at 5:00 pm

Self-defense classes.

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debbie · Apr 25, 2018 at 5:50 pm

FYI

Suspicious Incident Media Release

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heylinda heylinda · Apr 25, 2018 at 8:41 pm

Our girls sound similar. Keep reminding her to trust her gut.

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elaineorr · Apr 25, 2018 at 10:11 pm

You’re a good daddy.

tcr! tcr! · Apr 26, 2018 at 8:34 am

Thank you!!

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Ryan Waters · Apr 28, 2018 at 1:16 am

Smart girl and she’s lucky to have a Dad she trusts and reaches out to! You done good!!!

tcr! tcr! · Apr 28, 2018 at 1:04 pm

Thank you!! And I believe she does trust me a little.

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