Sign in to your account



Username is required


forgot your password?


New to the site? Create an account →

I only saw her rage

tcr! · Nov 5, 2017 at 6:02 pm

I only saw the rage

Last night I heard an Al-Anon speaker say that she was very angry with her husband while he was drinking. But really she was scared. Scared for a variety of reasons, if he was going to really hurt himself, and so on.

When I was drinking my ex-wife was also very angry. The kind of anger where it felt like I couldn’t do anything right. And I took that very personal because, to me, it just seemed like she was constantly upset with what I was doing and what I wasn’t doing.

It really struck a chord with me, what the speaker said yesterday. Looking back now I can see that my ex-wife was also most likely scared. And frustrated. And hurt. I wish I could’ve seen through to her fear at the time. Seen her hurt instead of her aggravation. Seen her loneliness instead of her judgment.

I feel sad that I only saw her madness and didn’t or couldn’t see what was underneath.

After I’ve moved on and things have passed, it’s easier for me to have an objective look on what was really going on. But in the moment it’s too hard to detach from the then and there, even more so when emotions are high. We’ve all heard that anger is just a cover up but I only see the rage when it’s directed at me.

I started to tear up listening to the speaker because I felt like if I would’ve seen my ex-wife as simply being hurt and scared I would’ve done things differently when we were married.

Instead of reacting defiantly to her anger, I would’ve tried to react lovingly to her pain.

#alcoholism #relationships #diariespodcast

jimi hindrance experience jimi hindrance experience · Nov 7, 2017 at 12:11 am

i was just thinking about this today. thankies for the share.

tcr! tcr! · Nov 8, 2017 at 7:22 am

I think I might think about it a little more often. 😊

Add a Comment

It’d be better if you signed in before commenting


Reply



Latest articles for #diariespodcast

diaries podcast: 1171 episode listens this month

· Apr 26, 2018 at 2:56 pm

I started doing my podcast last August and this month I’ve had the most episode listens ever….

diaries podcast editing

· Apr 14, 2018 at 9:17 pm

The new MacBook Pro’s Touch Bar is pretty nifty but I’m in the habit of resting my fingers on…

Not caring what other people think

· Mar 20, 2018 at 7:31 pm

Abstract I think all that jive about “not caring what other people think” is…


But wait!!

Get all the photos, articles, and oh so much more delivered in a slick print each month. 💖 Go now →