The last thing I was thinking before going to sleep is that…
I drank the way I did because I’m an alcoholic, no other reason than that. Sure I was full of hurt and anger but the driving force for me to drink was alcoholism.
Drinking can kinda be like going swimming in a lake. It’s a little dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t take the proper precautions, yada, yada.
But for an alcoholic it’s like going swimming in the lake with one of those big ship anchors chained to my leg. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get back to shore. Hopelessly treading water while everybody else was drying off and packing up the car.