Sign in to your account



Username is required


forgot your password?


New to the site? Create an account →

Here’s what happens when you unfriend someone

tcr! · Feb 2, 2018 at 2:47 pm

here's what happens when you unfriend someone

This showed up on my timeline just a little bit ago.

So Facebook “noticed” I unfriended somebody. I highly doubt if they just “noticed” anything. They KNOW our every move people. They track and follow said movements even when we’re not on their website or using their apps.

These social media overlords go so far as having shadow accounts of people that don’t have real, actual Facebook accounts. Oh yeah, it’s true. Your dead cousin who died back in 1996? Yep, he’s on Facebook but only FB knows this. Well, Instagram knows, too.

So they both know he was your cousin and that you guys went to Guacamole once for Spring Break. That’s what happens when you upload your contact list to Facebook. Don’t ever do that again.

“Noticed” — ha. They make it sound like Wimpy just noticed a hamburger on Tuesday. Facebook don’t just “notice” shit. They prob predicted I was gonna unfriend Sally days before I even considered it. They got their Machine Learning™ that studies who and how often I unfriend people and then use the algorithms to tie it all back to my dead cousin, Vinny.

Next their post says, “This means that they’ll no longer be able to see…” What am I five? I know what the hell happens when I unfriend someone. That’s why I unfriended them.

And then that last sentence, “Don’t worry, we won’t tell them that you’ve unfriended them.”

I’m surprised they didn’t throw in, “but we could.”

Just like when Luiz coulda ripped Blu’s throat out but didn’t…

youtube.com/watch?v=xCHSWEx6iX0

…but he coulda.

And finally, this team should change their name from “The Facebook Help Team” to the “Facebook Hamburger Helper Team” — at least that’d make more sense.

#socialproblems #facebook #diariespodcast

tcr! tcr! · Feb 2, 2018 at 3:05 pm

And what’s with those blue rubber gloves with the finger tips cut off?

Add a Comment

It’d be better if you signed in before commenting


Reply



Latest articles for #facebook

Mar 15th, 2018 at 3:59:48 pm

· Mar 15, 2018 at 3:59 pm

🌿🐈 😳 I didn’t watch the video. I don’t like graphic content. #facebook

Mar 13th, 2018 at 7:06:33 am

· Mar 13, 2018 at 7:06 am

If this isn’t Facebook trying to build the most complete profile of me then I don’t know what…

Facebook: an adult man asks a 14-year-old girl for sexual pictures, wyd?

· Mar 6, 2018 at 12:59 pm

Facebook asks users: should we allow men to ask children for sexual images? On Sunday, the…


But wait!!

Get all the photos, articles, and oh so much more delivered in a slick print each month. πŸ’– Go now →